somethings i think happened to me but i cant remeber not do i know for sure.
in many ways i felt that there were to much buried in my mind.
but figured it would be to hard to and dark to even lookinto
there was alwaysa sea of chemecals to drown out the darkness and swim i nthe sunlight
\i grew intoa fine yet unmemorable young man a strnage young man who prefred imginary freinds to real ones
although i found out recently i havea kind of PTSD.
form somehtign that happened to me.
i can only guess on what cuased it from the millionso f shitty things that happened to me as a kid
it left me with lots of nager guilt and feelings of persecution and paranoia
recently i have taken the feeling of lonelyness by people i thought were my freinds not comming to my support reopend horrible feelings inside me.
like a old rusty bridge collapsing
all i ever wanted was to be loved by freinds but all i ever got was the dead mask of distance from them i wanted a fater too all i got wasa corpse to idenify at the mourge.
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